Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
