he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
