I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
