I'm gonna have a badass scar
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
