Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
