Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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