id be glad to
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
