Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How external is "for external use only"?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
