YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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