Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
