Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
