so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
try to milk me bitch
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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