that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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