i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
