lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
