I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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