too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I need water and some morals
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
