i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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