we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
