I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
