her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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