I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
