Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
