Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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