oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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