Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
