Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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