He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
