So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
