so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
