I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I believe in your delicious
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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