yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
