the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
