My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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