haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
