kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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