Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
