well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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