just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we made out on top of his cat.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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