kristin has been a bad kristin
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
