We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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