I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
