dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
