Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My vagina is officially offended.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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