Operation Purity has been aborted
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
