Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
