so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
