Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
