Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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