smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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