I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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